If you’ve ever asked for relationship advice you might have heard “communication is key.” This advice is simply put, but deeper than what meets the eye. Communication comes in many different forms: verbal, physical and through the ways we display love. Our love language explains to us how we display love to others and how we prefer to be loved. According to Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” there are 5 love languages.
Words of Affirmation
Words are long lasting in the mind. These are the people that need love to be expressed verbally. Telling them why you love them and that they are doing a good job gives them a warm feeling inside.
This language speaks to those who love one-on-one time with those they care about. They prefer the cellphones to be turned off and to just enjoy each other’s company. By setting aside time for just you too, you make this person feel important in your life.
People who operate through this language don’t just focus on the gift; it’s about the thought put into it. They love when someone surprises them by showing up with the exact thing that they subtly mentioned they wanted. Giving them gifts that you know they will enjoy or taking the time to go above and beyond for a birthday shows that you care about them and are attentive to their needs.
Acts of Service
Words are nice, but some people feel the most loved when they see you perform certain actions. The action can be as small as gathering all the groceries out of the car for them or paying a few bills. Actions for this person builds trusts.
People in this group love hugs, holding hands, pats on the back and kisses. It isn’t a sexual thing as much as it is comforting feeling to have a loved one be close and nurturing.
It’s important to be aware of your love language so that you can get a better understanding of what you need from others to feel the most loved. For example; your partner might be showering you with gifts, but you are actually in need of more quality time. By being aware of your needs you can explain them to your loved ones so that you can be on the same page.
It would be best if you and your friend/partner took the test together and talked it over. Most of us make the mistake of thinking that others prefer to be loved exactly how we prefer it. While it is always good to live up to the golden rule, you also have to read the fine print. Dissatisfaction can creep in, not because you aren’t trying, but because you are trying the wrong things. Your friend/mate might need you to show actions instead of kind words. Whereas you might be satisfied with long text messages. You can discover what your love language is by taking a free 30-minute quiz online. Also, don’t stop at just the quiz, get the book and read along with your loved ones for a better understanding.